Hello! This is the official page of Wayne Sebastian Pereanu.

Projects > Story-of-the-Day > server

January 18th, 2017

I don't normally even stop at garage sales, but I saw a weird looking computer today and stopped to buy it.

I ran home, plugged it in and it's booting up now. A ">" prompt appears.

ver: command not found...
pwd: command not found...
help: command not found...

Hmmm. None of the normal commands seem to be working.

>print "Hello World"
I hear the mechanical sounds reminiscent of a chainsaw that normally come from my printer. A sheet pops out with the words "Hello world" on it. Wait! I never connected this computer to my printer. I immediately unplug the computer and turn it around. I don't recognize any of the ports. I look for screws to open it up, but it appears that this "computer" is solid. I turn the computer back on.

I try looking up my user account.

That's a lot of users. I should get rid of one.
>del 7438233431
Nothing happens. Oh well.

I try a bunch of commands. Most didn't work, but this one looks interesting.
[39.0147, -77.4005]

It looks like a coordinate system. I paste it into Google and the first result is a map with a pin exactly where I am! Ok, maybe this thing has GPS built in?

Let's try something. I look up a new coordinate in the forest just outside: 39°00'52.9"N 77°24'09.0"W. Let's see if I change where "self" is located.
>self = [39.0147, -77.4025]
My hand that was resting on the keyboard sinks down and hits the table as the computer disappears! My heart is pounding as I stare at the empty desk for 15 seconds. I grab a flashlight and head outside. I find the computer exactly where the pin in Google Map said it would be. I grab it and bring it back inside. What is going on?

I wonder if my account works the same way.
[39.0147, -77.4005]

So I have a coordinate associated with me. This requires a test. Where should I send myself? I guess I always wanted to see the White House.
>self = [38.8974, -77.0374]
Wait! I stop my finger just as I was about to push the return key. I might get shot if I just appeared in the Oval Office. Maybe something more conservative. I fiddle around with Google Map some more. Ok, here goes!
>self = [39.0125, -77.4045]

There was no transition. I just instantly appear hovering a few feet over a pool at my neighborhood community center, and fall in. This is awesome!

I get out of the pool and run home drenching wet. I'm trying to think of how I can use this. It's not really free vacations, just one way travel. Maybe I can bring the computer along with me if I'm holding it? Oh, man. If that works I can go to Paris for a croissant for breakfast, street Bibimbap for lunch in Korea, and a sushi dinner in Tokyo.

I run into the room and there is just a piece of paper where the computer was, with a short note:
"Thanks for finding this! The appropriate asset management personnel have been reprimanded for misplacing the server. Sorry for any inconvenience. -Your planetary admin"

I stare at the note. The water dripping off of me quickly makes the note completely illegible. Nobody will ever believe this.